Learning to actually live in the present, where there is at least some control and ability to make choices, is a refreshing thing. After living quite differently for the rest of my days, this year I learned quite a bit about letting go. Wonders of wonders, Life is so much nicer, so much more peaceful, and so much simpler when I can let go and leave the worrying to whomever is in charge of that. (I know it is a job I have happily vacated after being the queen of worrying). Now my goal is to not pick up again anything that I had let go.
One of my favorite prayers begins "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...". I have learned I love being in that serenity, much more than where I used to live. I am learning that there are few things that I actually can change and as I come to accept that changes are within me, not in others, I feel and accept that serenity, or maybe we should call it grace.
I took risks this year and am still here to talk about it. Mistakes? Sure, lots of them, but this year I DID THE BEST I COULD, and know that the mistakes also weren't the end of the world. That knowledge alone is worth the price of admission to this movie we are living. Simply looking at Life as an ongoing scene in a movie helps keep me motivated to change, and knowing that if I screw up, I'll just call for "retake".
Tomorrow is plenty of time for the resolutions of the new year. Tonight I am looking back, one more time, and saying, "Thank You, Universe, for the year that's ending. I am grateful for the love, peace, friends, family, and the chance to enjoy them all. It was my best year to date, despite the grumbling, the bills, the mistakes, and all the negative stuff I let into it. I look forward to another chance to change, to grow, to do it better, and learn more about myself and the Universe. Happy old year and bring on a new one!"
May 2010 be the best year yet for me and all of those who share my world! Thank you to you ALL for sharing in it and helping me learn and grow with you! Peace and rainbows!