Ever have one of those days when nothing seems to be right? When you doubt the reason for your own existence? Then you will understand today, a Monday, a new month, dreary weather, and I'm trying to open my brain to release something sensible and profound. Nope, not happening. Every thought seems like a cry-baby is screaming. Self pity wants to take over and there is a sense of doom that matches the gloomy weather. All the words that want to come out are judgmental, critical, hurtful, and laced with loathing.
No, I will not let them out. I will turn my face to the sunshine that I know is deep within, even though hidden. I will stuff those negative words so full of love that they have no chance of being mean. I am acknowledging them for the "bad boys" that they are, but then I stand firm and tell them to leave as they are not wanted here. This is a positive blog. This is a "happy" place. Deep breath, now another one. there. Good bye ugly words, go fill up another blog. This one doesn't need you.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Highlighting a special project near to our hearts
For those who may not recognize the logo of the 3/50 Project, let me explain it a bit. Very simply, choose 3 stores who you would miss if they were closed (like deborah ann's rainbow!). Make a pledge to spend $50 a month in all three stores combined (more is fine too, but at least $50). Keeping those dollars in the local economy will provide more jobs, more small businesses, and more freedom of shopping options. While we all shop at the big box stores, the backbone of America has been (and hopefully will continue to be) the small Mom-and-Pop type stores in our local neighborhoods. The grassroots support for the 3/50 Project has been incredible since its inception only one year ago. For more info, go to their website
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Tuesdays are much easier than Mondays
Why is it that Monday, every week, is such a tough day? I think about it as the first portion of a hike, where you have to break in your shoes, find a pace, and assess the difficulty of the climb. Somehow, it seems that every Monday is like that. I reluctantly begin the "journey: planned for the week, assess the reality of accomplishing its goals, and start in on the work. In true trial and error fashion, nothing is smooth, but it usually settles into a workable plan.
Yesterday was the same. First day on the plans to create a new area in the store's closet where we can have card readings or "healing" interactions. Although we know the dimensions, the size and "feel" of the area will determine its best use. First, however, it needs to be cleared of all that is there. The large file, the off season flags, the extra garden things, packing materials- all gone now. The various "onesies" of inventory counted and logged in for new season's use. All cleared from top shelves by day's end. On Tuesday we tackle the bottom shelves and pull out/toss away all that isn't needed.
This morning, the "journey" is underway with a solid plan. I can move right into clearing and cleaning. No need to "break in" myself, I am ready for the work and the day's goals. Yes, Tuesday is so much easier than it's pioneering brother, Monday.
Yesterday was the same. First day on the plans to create a new area in the store's closet where we can have card readings or "healing" interactions. Although we know the dimensions, the size and "feel" of the area will determine its best use. First, however, it needs to be cleared of all that is there. The large file, the off season flags, the extra garden things, packing materials- all gone now. The various "onesies" of inventory counted and logged in for new season's use. All cleared from top shelves by day's end. On Tuesday we tackle the bottom shelves and pull out/toss away all that isn't needed.
This morning, the "journey" is underway with a solid plan. I can move right into clearing and cleaning. No need to "break in" myself, I am ready for the work and the day's goals. Yes, Tuesday is so much easier than it's pioneering brother, Monday.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
One year ends, another begins, another chance for change
Once again the calendar is turning, and this year I will be waving a vigorous Good Bye as it leaves. Economically, this has not been our best year (by a long shot)and the New year can only be better. Emotionally, however, it has probably been one of our best and strongest. Perhaps it was the reality that there was little that we could do to make changes in the overall economy, perhaps it was the growth that comes with another year of business under my belt, or perhaps it was the realization that there is little reason worrying about anything more than the present moment.
Learning to actually live in the present, where there is at least some control and ability to make choices, is a refreshing thing. After living quite differently for the rest of my days, this year I learned quite a bit about letting go. Wonders of wonders, Life is so much nicer, so much more peaceful, and so much simpler when I can let go and leave the worrying to whomever is in charge of that. (I know it is a job I have happily vacated after being the queen of worrying). Now my goal is to not pick up again anything that I had let go.
One of my favorite prayers begins "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...". I have learned I love being in that serenity, much more than where I used to live. I am learning that there are few things that I actually can change and as I come to accept that changes are within me, not in others, I feel and accept that serenity, or maybe we should call it grace.
I took risks this year and am still here to talk about it. Mistakes? Sure, lots of them, but this year I DID THE BEST I COULD, and know that the mistakes also weren't the end of the world. That knowledge alone is worth the price of admission to this movie we are living. Simply looking at Life as an ongoing scene in a movie helps keep me motivated to change, and knowing that if I screw up, I'll just call for "retake".
Tomorrow is plenty of time for the resolutions of the new year. Tonight I am looking back, one more time, and saying, "Thank You, Universe, for the year that's ending. I am grateful for the love, peace, friends, family, and the chance to enjoy them all. It was my best year to date, despite the grumbling, the bills, the mistakes, and all the negative stuff I let into it. I look forward to another chance to change, to grow, to do it better, and learn more about myself and the Universe. Happy old year and bring on a new one!"
May 2010 be the best year yet for me and all of those who share my world! Thank you to you ALL for sharing in it and helping me learn and grow with you! Peace and rainbows!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
WHY DOES NOVEMBER DEPRESS ME SO?
Only a few days into my least favorite month, and I am already feeling the depression grabbing hold. Every year I promise myself that I will not succumb to the doldrums, but like the shadows of darkness, they creep out and grab at my soul. Perhaps it is a delayed reaction of spirits and ancestors that overstay their welcome from Halloween or Samhain. Maybe it is the early sunset brought on by the time change (it's way too early, thank you, for daytime darkness). What ever its source, it is here, and on only the second day of the month.
One day the trees are golden and vibrant, the next brown, naked, and stark against the cold sky. One day warm and sunny, the next raw damp rain falling. In no more than twenty four hours, we lose our beautiful Indian summer and face the cold blast of the northeast wind. November is cruelly here once more.
I used to love the seasons changing, especially as the fall wound down and Nature begins to turn inward toward the long hibernation of winter. Pulling oneself in and reaching for warm,heavier clothes and blankets to give protection against the elements. Stocking in ingredients for comfort foods like soups and hearty casseroles that fill the tummy and slow mealtime into a relaxed event. Beginning to gather books and magazines that will fill longer, indoor times.
Somehow, perhaps because I am older and feeling the number of seasons accumulating too rapidly, I want to scream "stop, don't move so quickly", to whomever is in charge of this pace of growing old. Perhaps it is the realization of another year soon to be behind me, and the number of years ahead dwindling as each year passes. Whatever the cause, I always know when it is November, simply because of how I feel, and that is sad. Maybe if I just accept that these feelings are simply the way it is in November, honor them, and then let them go? "There is a time to laugh and a time to weep, and a time for letting go" and for me, November is the time for sadness.
One day the trees are golden and vibrant, the next brown, naked, and stark against the cold sky. One day warm and sunny, the next raw damp rain falling. In no more than twenty four hours, we lose our beautiful Indian summer and face the cold blast of the northeast wind. November is cruelly here once more.
I used to love the seasons changing, especially as the fall wound down and Nature begins to turn inward toward the long hibernation of winter. Pulling oneself in and reaching for warm,heavier clothes and blankets to give protection against the elements. Stocking in ingredients for comfort foods like soups and hearty casseroles that fill the tummy and slow mealtime into a relaxed event. Beginning to gather books and magazines that will fill longer, indoor times.
Somehow, perhaps because I am older and feeling the number of seasons accumulating too rapidly, I want to scream "stop, don't move so quickly", to whomever is in charge of this pace of growing old. Perhaps it is the realization of another year soon to be behind me, and the number of years ahead dwindling as each year passes. Whatever the cause, I always know when it is November, simply because of how I feel, and that is sad. Maybe if I just accept that these feelings are simply the way it is in November, honor them, and then let them go? "There is a time to laugh and a time to weep, and a time for letting go" and for me, November is the time for sadness.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Flowing with the Words
Being wide awake at 2:00 am is not a usual occurrence for me, but I resumed my medicine today after being off it for two weeks. Totally forgetting the "jump start" that happens when I resume it after a break, I simply popped it in when I picked it up, about noon time. So here I am wired with words, writing and feeling like I could create the great American novel in one sitting. I completed another newsletter and sent it off, wrote several journal entries, and now am trying to lull myself to dreamland by writing here. I'm sure when morning comes I will not recognize what is flowing now,but somehow, there is a need to continue.
I am somehow not surprised at the increased effect of the medication today. Since last week when I was attuned in Reiki I, there has been an increase in all of my senses. I see things more clearly, I have noticed an increase in hearing, and food tastes so much better. Gone also are cravings (except for salt which never leaves me), and a much more relaxed attitude toward food. I am even feeling hungry in the morning upon arising, something I haven't felt for years. Perhaps the most noticeable effect is a lack of worrying or fear, especially about the shop. The bills are still there, but I have a different sense toward them, recognizing that doing what I can each day lends itself to much more ease than worrying about the next day. I really like these changes.
I am somehow not surprised at the increased effect of the medication today. Since last week when I was attuned in Reiki I, there has been an increase in all of my senses. I see things more clearly, I have noticed an increase in hearing, and food tastes so much better. Gone also are cravings (except for salt which never leaves me), and a much more relaxed attitude toward food. I am even feeling hungry in the morning upon arising, something I haven't felt for years. Perhaps the most noticeable effect is a lack of worrying or fear, especially about the shop. The bills are still there, but I have a different sense toward them, recognizing that doing what I can each day lends itself to much more ease than worrying about the next day. I really like these changes.
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